“Why would telling him the truth be helpful when it would take away his hope and cause all that stress?”

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“Why didn’t anyone tell me I was dying?”

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The questions above represent two completely honest, yet opposite reactions to the end stages of disease. In these examples, cancer was the driving force. Experience has proven to me that no matter what the diagnosis, eventually the reality of “final moments” creates opportunity for discussion.  In some instances, the loss occurs before the chance to consider options.

What would you do, say or think if suddenly presented with these questions? Given time to reflect on the answer, compare facts, weigh options and consider opinions, the response may vary as dramatically as each individual’s character. Even when there are days, weeks, and months to debate and discuss, the direction and point of our own personality governs outcomes.

To simply say “It’s in God’s hands now” or defer to the most dominate authority present still does not address the emotional recoil felt down the line as the clock tick-tick-ticks toward the inevitable. Perhaps no amount of preparation, planning, and conversation could ever sooth the pain of tragedy. Life is not fair. Death is not particular.

My question is this. In today’s modern time with mindfulness and holistic loving kindness, what can our hands be doing in the meantime? Hope is life; often situations are so horrific that hope can seem lost. I say this: Hope, from my perspective, simply changes form and focus. Hope of comfort, hope to walk in a marriage procession, see a graduation, visit a landmark, enjoy a hobby, have a hug, smile, and even hope for a quick passing all continue to flow in harmony with love.

Caring Choices offers a safe place to share feelings, gather information, listen to experiences of others and build trust in your own choices knowing that they come from a place of love and hope.

(c) 2014 Caring Choices